Dos and Donts of Mentoring

DO

Do work for gradual progress, not “F” directly to “A”.
Do take time to establish a rapport with your mentee.
Do focus on one area, subject or problem at a time.
Do be aware of limitations. You cannot change your mentee’s home situation.
Do remember that everyone has strengths.
Do be aware that your mentee’s value system may be different from yours.
Do report any harmful behavior.
Do be aware and understanding of cultural differences.
Do remember that listening is the supreme act of caring.
Do realize that you may not be able to affect change. Ultimately, the responsibility for change lies within your mentee.
Do be a positive role model.
Do help your mentee set goals and reinforce their successes.
Do keep meetings confidential.
Listen, be supportive and have patience.

Don’t be judgmental.
Don’t be another parent or teacher.
Don’t forget your own adolescence.
Don’t expect quick changes in attitudes or academics.
Don’t be discouraged if your mentee’s progress does not meet your expectations.
Don’t be discouraged if things get worse before getting better – your mentee may be testing you.
Don’t feel awkward with silences. Use this time to think and make choices.
Don’t take ownership of the problem. The problem belongs to your mentee.
Don’t wait for your mentee to initiate conversation or suggest activities.
Don’t become overly involved. Beware of your boundaries.
Don’t feel like you have to know all the answers.